SACRED TEARS and STANDING STRONG

There is a sacredness in tears. 

They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. 

They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. 

They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, 

of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.

Washington Irving

 

At the above speaking engagement I shared my favorite quote from a John Wayne movie (minus the voice impersonation)...

“You're going to spend the rest of your life getting up one more time than you're knocked down so you better get used to it”.     John Wayne in The Train Robbers

Get used to what?

Getting knocked down?

Getting up?

Getting up one more time than your knocked down?

All of them, till the end of this life. 

I am not coming from a macho perspective (or the nauseating cheerleader motivational crap either).

You may be like me (since Isaac's death), getting knocked down and getting back up with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart.

It just doesn't matter what you or I expected out of life, but life demands you and I either give up or get up. 

MY SON....WORDS STILL FAIL ME...

One can not and should not compare themselves to another...neither in triumph nor in tragedy. We are not greater than nor less than based on our extreme of experiences. We are all people connected in spirit finding our way through life.

Below is the most difficult thing I have ever had to write. I struggle now as I did then to convey the "story" and I find now as I did then...

Isaac...my son...words fail me...I LOVE YOU..........

Isaac Neal Eslinger was born January 27, 2005 at 4:30 a.m. at home in Bismarck with his mom, dad and big sister present to welcome him into the world.

Isaac has a spirit presence that warmed all hearts. He was a “master of smiling” as he displayed his prominent dimples, twinkling eyes and his unique laughs, giggles and squeaks.

The mere glimpse of his mother or sound of her voice would bring a smile and a laugh that truly was an honor to witness.

Isaac greatly enjoyed his father singing “Voice of Truth” and their rap version of “I Like Green Beans And I Can Not Lie” would cause Isaac to laugh uncontrollably.

His eyes showed admiration for his loving big sister and he loved to snatch her toys, pull her hair and take baths with her.

He loved watching animals and his favorite words that he spoke were Mama and Dada.

On September 18, 2005, Isaac was in a vehicle rollover accident with his mom and big sister.

Isaac’s car seat released from the base unit and he was ejected out of the vehicle. His injuries were too severe for him to stay with us.

Isaac Neal Eslinger died September 19, 2005…just shy of 8 months.

Isaac was a gift from God and he always was and always will be “Our Little Angel”.

Words cannot express the blessings he brought into our lives.

Isaac (Hebrew) “He Laughs”….. and HE DID.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5

TEST OF A MAN

The TEST OF A MAN by O. Lawrence Hawthorne has been committed to my memory, but more importantly it is felt within my heart.

It is a message which has been of great support to me in viewing life. Yet I can not say in all circumstances that the words conveyed cover all triumphs and tribulations of my life.

In particular, there has been an occurrence in my life for which no words convey the loss I feel... and any gain will never be desired...

TEST OF A MAN

By O. Lawrence Hawthorne

There’s little satisfaction to be gained

from doing things that hold no difficulties.

It’s the tough old task that brings keen sense

of worth and power to the man who wins the fight.

His failures test his courage and his problems prove his might.

Until a man has conquered loss and overcome defeat,
He can not fully understand just why success is sweet.

I’m thankful for my disappointments, for the battles lost,
and for mistakes that seemed to charge an overwhelming cost.

I’m thankful for the days of doubt when it was hard to see,
that all things work together for the good that is to be.

I’m glad for all that life has brought because today I know,
That men must brave adversities if they would greater grow.